Freakin' Oogly Shoes

I've been meaning to compose a polemical blog rant about the "Crocs" phenomenon. You know Crocs. They're the Birkenstocks of the Noughties - those bloody ugly sandals that everyone seems to be wearing these days, viz.:
Yes, I know they're comfy. And yes, I know they are made of wondrous space-age foam-type stuff that resists the growth of fungus, toejam and myriad other foot-related nasties. And I grant that in certain settings, they are an excellent option - at the beach, on the boat, in the garden, or on the job if you are required to be on your feet all day.

But increasingly, over the past few months, I've begun to see people of all ages wearing them all the time. Thanks to our uniquely North American compulsion to consider comfort over all other sartorial factors, Crocs have now made their way to the street, where in my opinion they emphatically do not belong. Stroll along Spring Garden Road - supposedly the smartest street in this city - at any time of day or night, and you will see endless numbers of adults and kids in rainbow-coloured Crocs. And while people are free to do as they wish, I am likewise free to pronounce this trend to be ugly and inappropriate.

Keep 'em for the garden, folks. That's all I'm saying.